To cook the bacon: preheat the oven to 400F. Line a baking sheet with parchment. Arrange the bacon slices on the baking sheet. Bake for about 15 minutes, then flip and bake for 5-10 more minutes, or until the bacon is very crispy (this will depend on the thickness). Transfer to a paper towel lined plate to cool, then roughly chop it or chop it finely.
To make the nuts (optional): preheat the oven to 400F. Line a baking sheet with parchment. Add the nuts, oil, maple, spices, and salt and toss to coat. Spread into an even layer and bake for 7-9 minutes, stirring halfway through, or until fragrant and toasted. Remove and let cool completely.
For the dressing: rinse out the blender. Add all of the dressing ingredients and blend until smooth and creamy. If it’s not blending well, add a splash of water (no more than 1 tablespoon).
For the cranberries (optional, see note): add cranberries to a small microwavable bowl and pour the vinegar over top. Microwave for 30 seconds, then let the cranberries soak in the liquid for 10-30 minutes. Drain and set aside.
For the salad: add kale (stems removed) to a blender and blend until finely chopped, using a tamper tool to encourage blending. Transfer to a large bowl. Add the trimmed brussel sprouts to the blender and blend until finely chopped. Transfer to the bowl.
To assemble: Add about ¾ of the dressing to the kale/brussels and toss to coat. Transfer to a serving platter. Drizzle the remaining dressing over top. Top with cranberries, apples, bacon, and nuts.