Add about 4 quarts water to a large pot over high heat, season with salt, and bring to a boil. Add the kale, using tongs to submerge them into the boiling water. Cook for 1 minute, or until the kale softens. Use the tongs to transfer the kale to a large bowl, shaking off the excess liquid. Set aside to cool.
Add the noodles to the boiling water and cook according to the package instructions. Drain the noodles in a colander and rinse with cold water until noodles are cold. If cooking edamame, remove noodles with tongs (see “pro tip”).
To make the dressing, add all ingredients to a medium bowl and whisk to thoroughly combine. The dressing shouldn’t be super thick. If too thick (depends on thickness of your tahini), whisk in a splash of water.
Once the kale has cooled enough to handle, use your hands to squeeze as much water out as you can (like wringing out a towel), place on a cutting board, and slice thinly. Loosen the kale up into pieces (it will probably be all stuck together from squeezing). Drain the excess water from that large bowl and add the noodles, kale, cucumber, ½ of the scallions, edamame, and dressing and toss to coat. Serve topped with remaining scallions and sesame seeds.